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"I don't need a housekeeper; I have a cleaning-when-guests-are-coming strategy."
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just well-informed about the vast array of diseases and symptoms.
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I'm not a gossip; I just have a keen interest in people's lives.
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I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
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I'm not indecisive; I just prefer to explore all the options.
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I don't need a prince charming; I need a man who can open pickle jars.
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I don't need a hairstylist; I have mastered the art of the messy bun.
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have a mind that likes to wander... and forget to come back.
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I don't need a hairstylist; I'm having a bad hair decade.
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I'm not high-maintenance; I just have high standards... and a few low batteries.
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I don't need a personal trainer; I have a talent for finding excuses not to exercise.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of motivational cat videos.
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I don't snore; I dream I'm a motorcycle.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting podcasts.
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I'm not a techie; I'm just fluent in speaking to electronic devices like they understand me.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of funny videos to uplift my spirits.
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I'm not late; everyone else is just early.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have Post-it notes everywhere.
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I'm not a tech wizard; I just have a special talent for breaking electronic devices.
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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a visionary with a distracted mind.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a significant other to find my misplaced things.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have an impressive ability to forget important things.
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I don't need a time machine; my memory takes me on unplanned trips to the past.
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I'm not a snacker; I'm a connoisseur of bite-sized delights.
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I don't need a gym membership; life is my cardio.
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I'm not a grammar enthusiast; I'm a grammar warrior—defending the language against misspellings and typos.
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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily steps chasing after him.
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I'm not fat; I'm just easier to see.
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I don't need a life coach; I have a collection of motivational memes on my phone.
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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique sense of fashion disaster.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '80s sitcoms to uplift my spirits.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting songs.
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I'm not a math genius; I just excel at calculating how much time I waste on unimportant things.
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I'm not a night owl; I'm a night giraffe—elegant and tall, stumbling in the dark.
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I don't need a life coach; I have a motivational poster in my bathroom.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online cart full of things I'll never buy.
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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm just a collector of receipts.
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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.
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I don't need a genie; I have Amazon Prime.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting music to boost my mood.
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I'm not a perfectionist; I just have really high standards that I can never meet.
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I'm not a thrill-seeker; I'm an accident-waiting-to-happen enthusiast.
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I'm not a worrywart; I'm a professional over-analyzer.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning ninja—silent, moody, and ready to disappear.
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I'm not a quitter; I'm just on a temporary hiatus from trying.
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I'm not a worrywart; I'm a professional overthinker.
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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have a YouTube playlist of inspirational speeches that I never watch.
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I don't need a chef; I have a talent for turning simple recipes into culinary disasters.
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I'm not a hoarder; I'm a collector of memories and things that may be useful someday... maybe.
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I don't need a driver; I have a great sense of direction—it's just usually the wrong one.
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