Quote



"I don't need a housekeeper; I have a cleaning-when-guests-are-coming strategy."



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My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other — I get to sleep, and it supports my laziness.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—walking through life in a caffeine-induced haze.

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I'm not clumsy; gravity just likes me a little too much.

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I'm not short; I'm fun-sized.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—dead inside until I have coffee.

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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an undercover optimist with realistic expectations.

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