Quote



"I'm not a workaholic; I'm just passionate about avoiding work."



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I don't need a driver's license; I have a great sense of direction—just not on roads.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning mess.

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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm just a collector of receipts.

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I'm not a control freak; I just know what's best for everyone.

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I tried being normal once. It was the worst five minutes of my life.

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I'm not a troublemaker; I'm just misunderstood... and frequently caught.

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I'm not a grammar Nazi; I'm a punctuation vigilante.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of feel-good songs.

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I'm not short; I'm fun-sized.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a dog.

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I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of cereal and microwave meals.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online cart full of things I'll never buy.

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I'm not late; everyone else is just early.

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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique style that defies trends.

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I don't need a reality show; my life is already a sitcom.

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I'm not clumsy; I'm just dancing to the beat of my own drumstick.

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I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something shiny.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have a talent for finding excuses not to exercise.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have mastered the art of impulse buying.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—walking through life in a caffeine-induced haze.

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I'm not a perfectionist; I'm an aspiring perfectionist who never quite gets there.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game.

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I'm not a chatterbox; I just have verbal diarrhea.

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I'm not indecisive; I just prefer to explore all the options.

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I'm not a perfectionist; I'm a perfectionist in progress—learning to embrace imperfections.

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I don't need a housekeeper; I have a cleaning-when-guests-are-coming strategy.

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I don't need a time machine; my memory takes me on unplanned trips to the past.

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I don't need a spa day; I need a spa month.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of takeout.

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