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"I'm not addicted to coffee. We're just in a committed relationship."
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Related Quotes about Funny
I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just well-informed about the vast array of diseases and symptoms.
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Funny
I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of cereal and microwave meals.
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Funny
I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning ninja—silent, moody, and ready to disappear.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of motivational cat videos.
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Funny
I don't need a personal trainer; I have my own dance moves to embarrass myself with.
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I tried being normal once. It was the worst five minutes of my life.
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I don't need a housekeeper; I have a cleaning-when-guests-are-coming strategy.
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Funny
I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the world from grammatical errors.
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Funny
I'm not a couch potato; I'm a sitting enthusiast.
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Funny
I'm not addicted to coffee. We're just in a committed relationship.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '80s sitcoms to uplift my spirits.
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Funny
I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online shopping addiction.
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Funny
I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of scrolling through workout routines.
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Funny
I put the 'pro' in procrastinate.
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Funny
I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
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Funny
I don't need a chef; I have a microwave and a cookbook.
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Funny
I'm not a math genius; I just have a special talent for calculating how much sleep I'm losing.
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Funny
I'm not a workaholic; I'm just passionate about avoiding work.
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Funny
I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a master of creating my alternate reality.
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Funny
I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimist with a realistic perspective.
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Funny
I'm not a shopaholic; I'm just a collector of receipts.
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Funny
I don't need anger management; people just need to stop irritating me.
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Funny
I'm not old; I'm vintage.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a WhatsApp group chat for venting purposes.
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Funny
I don't need a life coach; I have an inspirational quote app on my phone.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting songs.
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Funny
I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online sales.
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Funny
My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other — I get to sleep, and it supports my laziness.
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Funny
I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just an avid reader of medical articles.
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Funny
I'm not a party animal; I'm a party sloth—slowly enjoying every moment.
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Funny
I'm not clumsy; I'm just dancing to the beat of my own drumstick.
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Funny
I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwaving.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a dog.
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Funny
I don't need a life coach; I have a collection of motivational memes on my phone.
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Funny
I don't need a personal shopper; I have an impeccable sense of confusion.
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Funny
I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of finding excuses not to exercise.
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Funny
I don't snore; I dream I'm a chainsaw.
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Funny
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
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Funny
I'm not a snacker; I'm a connoisseur of bite-sized delights.
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Funny
I'm not a worrywart; I'm a professional overthinker.
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Funny
I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning sloth—slowly waking up and clinging to my bed.
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Funny
I'm not addicted to chocolate; I just have a committed relationship with it.
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Funny
I'm not a hoarder; I'm a collector of memories and things that may be useful someday... maybe.
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Funny
I don't need a personal trainer; I have a membership at a gym I never go to.
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Funny
I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes on my fridge magnets.
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Funny
I don't need a genie; I have Amazon Prime.
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Funny
I'm not a drama queen; I'm the whole theater production.
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Funny
I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama scientist—experimenting with emotions.
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Funny
I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just a medical enthusiast.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just on a never-ending vacation from responsibilities.
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Funny