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"I'm not addicted to chocolate; I just have a committed relationship with it."
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Related Quotes about Funny
I'm not a mind reader; I just pretend to know what people are thinking.
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Funny
I'm not a techie; I'm just fluent in speaking to electronic devices like they understand me.
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Funny
I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of cereal and microwave meals.
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Funny
I don't need a chauffeur; I have a sense of direction that never fails to mislead me.
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Funny
I don't need a life coach; I have an unlimited supply of self-help books.
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Funny
I'm not a snacker; I'm a professional taster of snacks.
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I'm not a picky eater; I'm just highly selective in my culinary adventures.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of funny videos to uplift my spirits.
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Funny
I'm not a procrastinator; I just like to live on the edge of deadlines.
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Funny
I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of ordering takeout.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a Netflix subscription.
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Funny
I'm not a worrywart; I just prefer to plan for every possible disaster.
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Funny
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
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Funny
I'm not a perfectionist; I just have really high standards that I can never meet.
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Funny
I don't need a motivational speaker; I have my alarm clock.
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Funny
I can resist everything except temptation... and pizza.
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Funny
I'm not a hoarder; I'm a collector of memories and things that may be useful someday... maybe.
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Funny
I don't need a personal trainer, my metabolism keeps me in shape... round is a shape, right?
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a WhatsApp group chat for venting purposes.
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Funny
I don't need a personal chef; I just need someone to follow me around with snacks.
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Funny
I don't need a life coach; I have my own internal monologue.
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Funny
I'm not a chatterbox; I just have verbal diarrhea.
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Funny
I'm not addicted to coffee. We're just in a committed relationship.
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Funny
I put the 'pro' in procrastinate.
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Funny
I don't need a chef; I have a microwave and a cookbook.
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Funny
I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
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Funny
I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes and a bad memory.
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Funny
I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of eating out.
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I'm not forgetful; I'm just living in the future.
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I'm not a know-it-all; I just know a lot of useless information.
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Funny
I don't need a life coach; I have inspirational quotes on my screensaver.
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Funny
I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just a self-diagnosing medical enthusiast.
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Funny
I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game.
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Funny
I don't need a gym; my bank account keeps me fit.
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Funny
I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama scientist—experimenting with emotions.
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Funny
I'm not old; I'm vintage.
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Funny
I don't need a personal shopper; I have an unlimited supply of cute online stores.
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Funny
I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimist with a realistic perspective.
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I'm not a grammar nerd; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the language from typos and misspellings.
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Funny
I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama artist—painting my life with exaggerated emotions.
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Funny
I don't need a life coach; I have a refrigerator magnet with inspirational quotes.
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Funny
I'm not a workaholic; I'm just passionate about avoiding work.
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Funny
I'm not stubborn; my way is just better.
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Funny
I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just well-informed about the vast array of diseases and symptoms.
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Funny
I don't need a driver; I have my imagination to transport me anywhere.
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Funny
I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something shiny.
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Funny
I'm not a mind reader; I just have a talent for guessing what people are thinking and being wrong.
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Funny
I don't need a personal shopper; I have a knack for finding the most expensive items without trying.
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Funny
I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.
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Funny
I'm not a pessimist; I'm an undercover optimist with realistic expectations.
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Funny