Quote



"I'm not a know-it-all; I just know a lot of useless information."



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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '90s sitcoms.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an impeccable sense of confusion.

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I don't need anger management; people just need to stop irritating me.

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I'm not a multitasker; I'm just really good at doing multiple things poorly.

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I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of cereal and microwave meals.

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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have a mind that likes to wander... and forget to come back.

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I'm not stubborn; my way is just better.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have my own dance moves to embarrass myself with.

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I don't age; I level up.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes and a bad memory.

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I don't need a gym membership; life is my cardio.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily exercise by begging for walks.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my cat provides all the exercise I need.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have mastered the art of impulse buying.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online shopping addiction.

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I'm not a perfectionist; I'm an aspiring perfectionist who never quite gets there.

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I'm not late; everyone else is just early.

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