Quote



"I put the 'pro' in procrastinate."



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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes scattered all over my desk.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a caffeine-dependent life form.

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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimist with a realistic perspective.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning alien—struggling to adapt to Earth's time zone.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong aversion to being bored.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have a closet full of clothes I never wear.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online shopping addiction.

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I'm not a troublemaker; I'm just creatively mischievous.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a virtual assistant that rarely understands my requests.

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I don't need a reality show; my life is already a sitcom.

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I'm not a tech wizard; I just have a special talent for breaking electronic devices.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my cat provides all the exercise I need.

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I don't need a therapist; I have my own comedy show in my head.

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I'm not a math whiz; I just have a natural ability to calculate how much time I waste.

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I'm not a night owl; I'm a night giraffe—elegant and tall, stumbling in the dark.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just enjoy being productive in my own unique way—by taking frequent breaks.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of ordering takeout.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my phone's voice assistant that never understands me.

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I'm not a grammar enthusiast; I'm a grammar warrior—defending the language against misspellings and typos.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my pet ensures I get my daily exercise by constantly demanding attention.

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I don't need a life coach; I have an inspirational quote app on my phone.

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I don't need a therapist; I have friends who give terrible advice.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have Post-it notes everywhere.

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I don't need a personal chef; I just need someone to follow me around with snacks.

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I don't snore; I dream I'm a motorcycle.

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I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.

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I'm not a technology addict; I'm just in a committed relationship with my devices.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get enough exercise by pulling me on walks.

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