Quote



"I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."



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I'm not addicted to coffee. We're just in a committed relationship.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—struggling to function without my daily dose of caffeine.

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My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other — I get to sleep, and it supports my laziness.

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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an undercover optimist with low expectations.

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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.

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I don't need a therapist; my cat listens to me without judgment.

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I'm not a picky eater; I'm just highly selective in my culinary adventures.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have a delivery app for all my culinary needs.

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I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama artist—painting my life with exaggerated emotions.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just well-informed about the vast array of diseases and symptoms.

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I'm not a chef; I'm just really good at burning things.

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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have my inner cheerleader.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my cat provides all the exercise I need.

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I'm not clumsy; I'm just dancing to the beat of my own drumstick.

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