Quote



"I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."



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I'm not indecisive; I just prefer to explore all the options.

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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique style that defies trends.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a significant other to find my misplaced things.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong aversion to being bored.

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I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just embracing the fine art of last-minute creativity.

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I'm not a psychic; I just have a knack for predicting when the pizza delivery will arrive.

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I'm not a tech guru; I just have a natural ability to break electronic devices with a single touch.

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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.

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I don't need a personal chef; I just need someone to follow me around with snacks.

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I don't need a vacation; I need a teleportation device.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting music to boost my mood.

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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional imagination explorer.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have a closet full of clothes I never wear.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwave gourmet.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of avoiding physical activity.

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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just a self-diagnosing medical enthusiast.

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I'm not a control freak; I just know what's best for everyone.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a virtual assistant that rarely understands my requests.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning sloth—slowly waking up and clinging to my bed.

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I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes plastered all over my walls.

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I don't need a hairstylist; I have a natural talent for bedhead chic.

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I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, my phone, and my temper.

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I put the 'pro' in procrastinate.

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I'm not late; everyone else is just early.

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I don't need a therapist; I have my pet to listen to my problems without judgment.

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I don't need anger management; people just need to stop irritating me.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game.

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I'm not a perfectionist; I just have really high standards that I can never meet.

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I don't need a hairstylist; I'm having a bad hair decade.

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I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes on my fridge magnets.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting songs.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I need a personal chef.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes scattered all over my desk.

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I don't need a prince charming; I need a man who can open pickle jars.

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I don't need a time machine; my memory takes me on unplanned trips to the past.

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I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

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I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.

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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a knack for getting lost even with GPS guidance.

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I'm not a worrywart; I'm a professional overthinker.

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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just extremely passionate about taking frequent breaks.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online shopping addiction.

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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a master of creating my alternate reality.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online cart full of things I'll never buy.

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