Quote



"I'm not a troublemaker; I'm just misunderstood... and frequently caught."



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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes scattered all over my desk.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have a closet full of clothes I never wear.

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I can resist everything except temptation... and pizza.

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I'm not addicted to chocolate; I just have a committed relationship with it.

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I don't need a hairstylist; I have a natural talent for bedhead chic.

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I'm not stubborn; my way is just better.

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I don't snore; I dream I'm a motorcycle.

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I don't need a therapist; I have my pet to listen to my problems without judgment.

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I don't need a gym; my bank account keeps me fit.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get enough exercise by pulling me on walks.

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I don't need a chef; I have a microwave and a cookbook.

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I'm not a party animal; I'm a party panda—rarely seen in public, but a legend when spotted.

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I'm not high-maintenance; I just have high standards... and a few low batteries.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of takeout.

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I'm not clumsy; gravity just likes me a little too much.

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I don't need a life coach; I have a motivational poster in my bathroom.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a significant other to find my misplaced things.

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I don't need a chef; I have a talent for turning simple recipes into culinary disasters.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a Netflix subscription.

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I'm not a control freak; I just know what's best for everyone.

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I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

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I'm not a party animal; I'm a party dinosaur—extinct most of the time, but wild when I appear.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwave gourmet.

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I don't need a hairstylist; I'm having a bad hair decade.

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