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"I don't need a therapist; I have friends who give terrible advice."
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Related Quotes about Funny
I'm not clumsy; gravity just likes me a little too much.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning monster.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have mastered the art of impulse buying.
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I'm not a snob; I just have refined taste buds.
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I'm not addicted to chocolate; I just have a committed relationship with it.
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I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of eating out.
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I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
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I'm not fat; I'm just easier to see.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a Netflix subscription.
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I'm not a thrill-seeker; I'm an accident-waiting-to-happen enthusiast.
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I'm not a multitasker; I'm just really good at doing multiple things poorly.
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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional imagination explorer.
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I'm not a troublemaker; I'm just misunderstood... and frequently caught.
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I'm not a grammar nerd; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the language from typos and misspellings.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my phone's voice assistant that never understands me.
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I don't need a life coach; I have a motivational poster in my bathroom.
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I'm not crazy; I'm just mentally hilarious.
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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily steps chasing after him.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of motivational podcasts.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '90s sitcoms.
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I'm not a math genius; I just have a special talent for calculating how much sleep I'm losing.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have Post-it notes everywhere.
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I'm not a snacker; I'm a professional taster of snacks.
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I'm not lazy; I'm just on power-saving mode.
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I don't need a gym; my bank account keeps me fit.
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I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes on my fridge magnets.
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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique style that defies trends.
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I'm not a klutz; I'm just an expert at rearranging the floor with my feet.
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I put the 'pro' in procrastinate.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a caffeine-dependent life form.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a significant other to find my misplaced things.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny YouTube videos to cheer me up.
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My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other — I get to sleep, and it supports my laziness.
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I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of cereal and microwave meals.
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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have my alarm clock.
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just well-informed about the vast array of diseases and symptoms.
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I don't need a therapist; retail therapy is my cure.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—struggling to function without my daily dose of caffeine.
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I always carry a map because I get lost even when I'm walking in my own neighborhood.
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I don't need a personal trainer; my fridge is my motivator.
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I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
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I'm not a picky eater; I'm just a food critic in training.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have an impressive ability to forget important things.
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I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the world from grammatical errors.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have a knack for finding the most expensive items without trying.
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I don't need a personal trainer; I have a subscription to a gym I rarely visit.
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I don't need a fitness tracker; my pet ensures I get my daily exercise by constantly demanding attention.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a sense of direction that never fails to mislead me.
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I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just an efficient last-minute worker.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of feel-good songs.
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