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"I'm not a thrill-seeker; I'm an accident-waiting-to-happen enthusiast."
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I don't need a personal trainer; I have a talent for finding excuses not to exercise.
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I'm not a party pooper; I'm just an expert in finding excuses to stay home.
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I'm not a gossip; I just have a keen interest in people's lives.
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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimist with a realistic perspective.
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I can resist everything except temptation... and pizza.
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just well-informed about the vast array of diseases and symptoms.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a significant other to find my misplaced things.
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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just extremely passionate about taking frequent breaks.
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I don't need a therapist; my cat listens to me without judgment.
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I'm not a thrill-seeker; I'm an accident-waiting-to-happen enthusiast.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an unlimited supply of cute online stores.
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I don't need a personal trainer; I have my own dance moves to embarrass myself with.
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I don't need a life coach; I have a motivational poster in my bathroom.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting songs.
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I don't need a vacation; I need a teleportation device.
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I don't need a driver; I have a great sense of direction—it's just usually the wrong one.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a calendar app to remind me of all the things I forget.
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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique sense of fashion disaster.
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I'm not a snob; I just have refined taste buds.
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I'm not a grammar nerd; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the language from typos and misspellings.
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I'm not a night owl; I'm a night giraffe—elegant and tall, stumbling in the dark.
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I'm not addicted to chocolate; I just have a committed relationship with it.
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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional escapist.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a sense of direction that never fails to mislead me.
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I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes plastered all over my walls.
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I don't need a life coach; I have a collection of motivational memes on my phone.
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I don't need a personal chef; I just need someone to follow me around with snacks.
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I'm not a party pooper; I'm a party observer—analyzing the dynamics from a distance.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning alien—struggling to adapt to Earth's time zone.
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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm helping the economy.
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I'm not a grammar enthusiast; I'm a grammar warrior—defending the language against misspellings and typos.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting podcasts.
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I don't need a life coach; I have an unlimited supply of self-help books.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of humorous books to lift my spirits.
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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm just a dedicated supporter of the economy.
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I don't need a driver's license; I have a great sense of direction—just not on roads.
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I'm not a math genius; I just have a special talent for calculating how much sleep I'm losing.
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I don't need a therapist; I have my pet to listen to my problems without judgment.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online shopping addiction.
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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong aversion to being bored.
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I'm not a grammar Nazi; I'm a punctuation vigilante.
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I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, my phone, and my temper.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—walking through life in a caffeine-induced haze.
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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.
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I always carry a map because I get lost even when I'm walking in my own neighborhood.
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I don't make mistakes; I date them.
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I'm not a psychic; I just have a strong intuition for predicting my own mistakes.
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I'm not a tech wizard; I just have a special talent for breaking electronic devices.
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I'm not a perfectionist; I'm an aspiring perfectionist who never quite gets there.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a natural talent for taking wrong turns.
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