Quote



"I'm not a thrill-seeker; I'm an accident-waiting-to-happen enthusiast."



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I don't need a therapist; I have a WhatsApp group chat for venting purposes.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online cart full of things I'll never buy.

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I don't snore; I dream I'm a motorcycle.

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I'm not addicted to coffee. We're just in a committed relationship.

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I'm not a math genius; I just have a special talent for calculating how much sleep I'm losing.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my dog walks me.

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I'm not a psychic; I just have a sixth sense for predicting when pizza will arrive.

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I don't need anger management; people just need to stop irritating me.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '90s sitcoms.

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I'm not a picky eater; I just have a discriminating palate.

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I'm not a technology addict; I'm just in a committed relationship with my devices.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of avoiding physical activity.

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I'm not a night owl; I'm a night adventurer—exploring the depths of the internet and the fridge.

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I don't need a gym; my bank account keeps me fit.

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I don't need a hairstylist; I'm having a bad hair decade.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning alien—struggling to adapt to Earth's time zone.

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I don't need a chef; I have a microwave and a cookbook.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game.

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I don't need a mechanic; I have a special talent for breaking things.

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I don't need a housekeeper; I have a cleaning-when-guests-are-coming strategy.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have a delivery app for all my culinary needs.

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I tried being normal once. It was the worst five minutes of my life.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a significant other to find my misplaced things.

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I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

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I'm not a picky eater; I'm just highly selective in my culinary adventures.

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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a sense of direction that never fails to mislead me.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a dog.

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I'm not a party animal; I'm a party dinosaur—extinct most of the time, but wild when I appear.

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I'm not a troublemaker; I'm just misunderstood... and frequently caught.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwaving.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '80s sitcoms to uplift my spirits.

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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a habit of getting lost even with GPS.

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I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama artist—painting my life with exaggerated emotions.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes and a bad memory.

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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a natural talent for taking wrong turns.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning mess.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online window shopping.

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