Quote



"I'm not a picky eater; I'm just a food critic in training."



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I don't need a life coach; I have an unlimited supply of self-help books.

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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just extremely passionate about taking frequent breaks.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily steps chasing after him.

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I don't need a reality show; my life is already a sitcom.

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I'm not a drama queen; I'm the whole theater production.

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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm just a dedicated supporter of the economy.

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I'm not a perfectionist; I'm an aspiring perfectionist who never quite gets there.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny YouTube videos to cheer me up.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of motivational podcasts.

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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique sense of fashion disaster.

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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just passionate about avoiding work.

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I'm not short; I'm fun-sized.

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I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.

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I tried being normal once. It was the worst five minutes of my life.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an unlimited supply of cute online stores.

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I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.

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I'm not a chatterbox; I just have verbal diarrhea.

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I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just a medical enthusiast.

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I'm not a procrastinator; I just like to live on the edge of deadlines.

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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique style... or so I'm told.

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I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just on a never-ending vacation from responsibilities.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have mastered the art of impulse buying.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have a membership at a gym I never go to.

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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a knack for getting lost even with GPS guidance.

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I'm not a know-it-all; I just know a lot of useless information.

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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

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I'm not a tech wizard; I just have a special talent for breaking electronic devices.

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I'm not a psychic; I just have a sixth sense for predicting when pizza will arrive.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online cart full of things I'll never buy.

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I'm not a multitasker; I'm just really good at doing multiple things poorly.

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I don't need a life coach; I have a refrigerator magnet with inspirational quotes.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '80s sitcoms to uplift my spirits.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting podcasts.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my cat provides all the exercise I need.

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