Quote



"I'm not a picky eater; I'm just a food critic in training."



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I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, my phone, and my temper.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online cart full of things I'll never buy.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes scattered all over my desk.

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I'm not addicted to chocolate; I just have a committed relationship with it.

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I don't make mistakes; I date them.

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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an undercover optimist with realistic expectations.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting songs to lift my spirits.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just an avid reader of medical articles.

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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique style... or so I'm told.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily steps chasing after him.

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I don't need an encyclopedia; I have Google.

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I'm not a multitasker; I'm just really good at doing multiple things poorly.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have a subscription to a gym I rarely visit.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just a medical enthusiast.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my fridge is my motivator.

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I don't need a reality show; my life is already a sitcom.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes and a bad memory.

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I'm not indecisive; I just prefer to explore all the options.

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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimistic realist—hoping for the best but prepared for the worst.

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I don't need a personal trainer, my metabolism keeps me in shape... round is a shape, right?

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I'm not a psychic; I just have a strong intuition for predicting my own mistakes.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my cat provides all the exercise I need.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of feel-good songs.

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I don't need a life coach; I have a collection of motivational memes on my phone.

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I don't need a life coach; I have a motivational poster in my bathroom.

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I'm not a chef; I'm just really good at burning things.

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I don't need a vacation; I need a teleportation device.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my pet keeps me active with constant demands for attention.

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I don't need a therapist; retail therapy is my cure.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my dog walks me.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a WhatsApp group chat for venting purposes.

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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning mess.

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I'm not a gossip; I just have a keen interest in people's lives.

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