Quote



"I'm not a mind reader; I just have excellent guessing skills."



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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning mess.

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I'm not a chef; I'm just really good at burning things.

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I don't need an encyclopedia; I have Google.

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I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something shiny.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a Netflix subscription.

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I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just an efficient last-minute worker.

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I don't need a mechanic; I have a special talent for breaking things.

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I don't need a personal chef; I just need someone to follow me around with snacks.

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I'm not a tech guru; I just have a natural ability to break electronic devices with a single touch.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just well-informed about the vast array of diseases and symptoms.

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I'm not clumsy; gravity just likes me a little too much.

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I'm not a technology addict; I'm just in a committed relationship with my devices.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my smartphone.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online cart full of things I'll never buy.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '90s sitcoms.

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I'm not a scatterbrain; I'm just embracing the art of organized chaos.

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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm helping the economy.

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I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the world from grammatical errors.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny videos to brighten my day.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting songs.

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My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other — I get to sleep, and it supports my laziness.

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I don't need an alarm clock; my kids jump on me to wake me up.

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I'm not clumsy; I'm just dancing to the beat of my own drumstick.

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I don't need a therapist; my cat listens to me without judgment.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong aversion to being bored.

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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique sense of fashion disaster.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes and a bad memory.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online sales.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes scattered all over my desk.

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I'm not lazy; I'm just on power-saving mode.

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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have my inner cheerleader.

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