Quote



"I'm not a quitter; I'm just on a temporary hiatus from trying."



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I don't need a personal chef; I just need someone to follow me around with snacks.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have YouTube workout videos that I never actually do.

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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an undercover optimist with realistic expectations.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have a knack for finding the most expensive items without trying.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have my own dance moves to embarrass myself with.

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I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, my phone, and my temper.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a dog.

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I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama artist—painting my life with exaggerated emotions.

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I don't need a driver; I have my imagination to transport me anywhere.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwaving.

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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have an impressive ability to forget important things.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just an avid reader of medical articles.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning sloth—slowly waking up and clinging to my bed.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting music to boost my mood.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.

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I don't need anger management; people just need to stop irritating me.

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I'm not a klutz; I'm just an expert at rearranging the floor with my feet.

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I don't need a spa day; I need a spa month.

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I'm not a snob; I just have refined taste buds.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a virtual assistant that rarely understands my requests.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of scrolling through workout routines.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have Post-it notes everywhere.

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I'm not a mind reader; I just have excellent guessing skills.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of takeout.

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I don't need a hairstylist; I have mastered the art of the messy bun.

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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a visionary with a distracted mind.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online cart full of things I'll never buy.

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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a special talent for getting lost in familiar places.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game.

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I'm not clumsy; I'm just dancing to the beat of my own drumstick.

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