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"I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game."
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I'm not a snacker; I'm a professional taster of snacks.
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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of takeout.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a special talent for getting lost in familiar places.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of humorous books to lift my spirits.
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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game.
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I don't need a life coach; I have a collection of motivational memes on my phone.
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I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, my phone, and my temper.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a WhatsApp group chat for venting purposes.
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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just a dream enthusiast.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online cart full of things I'll never buy.
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I don't need a life coach; I have a collection of self-help books gathering dust on my shelf.
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I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have a knack for finding the most expensive items without trying.
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I'm not a tech wizard; I just have a special talent for breaking electronic devices.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of motivational cat videos.
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I'm not high-maintenance; I just have high standards... and a few low batteries.
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I don't need a fitness tracker; my pet keeps me active with constant demands for attention.
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I'm not lazy; I'm just on power-saving mode.
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I'm not a night owl; I'm a night giraffe—elegant and tall, stumbling in the dark.
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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just extremely passionate about taking frequent breaks.
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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwave gourmet.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting podcasts.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a knack for getting lost even with GPS guidance.
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I'm not forgetful; I'm just living in the future.
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I put the 'pro' in procrastinate.
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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a calendar app to remind me of all the things I forget.
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I don't need a personal trainer; I have a membership at a gym I never go to.
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I don't need a gym membership; life is my cardio.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have Post-it notes everywhere.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have a mind that likes to wander in various directions.
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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a visionary with a distracted mind.
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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique sense of fashion disaster.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online sales.
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I don't make mistakes; I date them.
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I'm not a procrastinator; I just like to live on the edge of deadlines.
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I always carry a map because I get lost even when I'm walking in my own neighborhood.
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I'm not a perfectionist; I just have really high standards that I can never meet.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a vast collection of memes to uplift my spirits.
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I'm not clumsy; I'm just dancing to the beat of my own drumstick.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I'm just embracing the art of organized chaos.
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I'm not a klutz; I'm just an expert at rearranging the floor with my feet.
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I don't need a therapist; retail therapy is my cure.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes scattered all over my desk.
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I don't need a personal trainer, my metabolism keeps me in shape... round is a shape, right?
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I don't need anger management; people just need to stop irritating me.
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.
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I'm not a hoarder; I'm a collector of memories and things that may be useful someday... maybe.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I need a personal chef.
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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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Funny