Quote



"I don't make mistakes; I date them."



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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.

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I don't need a driver; I have my imagination to take me on epic road trips.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong aversion to being bored.

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I'm not a hoarder; I'm a collector of memories and things that may be useful someday... maybe.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a caffeine-dependent life form.

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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a visionary with a distracted mind.

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I'm not a techie; I'm just fluent in speaking to electronic devices like they understand me.

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I don't make mistakes; I date them.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online shopping addiction.

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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a master of creating my alternate reality.

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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional escapist.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily steps chasing after him.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a dog.

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I'm not late; everyone else is just early.

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I'm not a couch potato; I'm a sitting enthusiast.

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I'm not short; I'm fun-sized.

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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a sense of direction that never fails to mislead me.

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I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

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I'm not a picky eater; I just have a discriminating palate.

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I'm not a quitter; I'm just on a temporary hiatus from trying.

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I don't need a reality show; my life is already a sitcom.

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I'm not a picky eater; I'm just a food critic in training.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of takeout.

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I'm not lazy; I'm just on power-saving mode.

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I don't need a therapist; I have my pet to listen to my problems without judgment.

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I don't need a life coach; I have an unlimited supply of self-help books.

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I tried being normal once. It was the worst five minutes of my life.

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I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something shiny.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a WhatsApp group chat for venting purposes.

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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have my inner cheerleader.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my dog walks me.

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I'm not a party animal; I'm a party panda—rarely seen in public, but a legend when spotted.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting music to boost my mood.

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I'm not stubborn; my way is just better.

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I don't age; I level up.

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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a special talent for getting lost in familiar places.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my phone's voice assistant that never understands me.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes.

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I don't need an alarm clock; my kids jump on me to wake me up.

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I'm not a chatterbox; I just have verbal diarrhea.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—walking through life in a caffeine-induced haze.

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