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"I don't need a personal assistant; I have Post-it notes everywhere."
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Related Quotes about Funny
I don't need anger management; people just need to stop irritating me.
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Funny
I'm not clumsy; I'm just dancing to the beat of my own drumstick.
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I'm not a psychic; I just have a knack for predicting when the pizza delivery will arrive.
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Funny
I tried being normal once. It was the worst five minutes of my life.
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Funny
I'm not clumsy; gravity just likes me a little too much.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting podcasts.
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Funny
I don't need a time machine; my memory takes me on unplanned trips to the past.
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I'm not a math genius; I just excel at calculating how much time I waste on unimportant things.
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I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just embracing the fine art of last-minute creativity.
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Funny
I'm not a chatterbox; I just have verbal diarrhea.
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Funny
I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of cereal and microwave meals.
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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.
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Funny
I'm not a party animal; I'm a party panda—rarely seen in public, but a legend when spotted.
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Funny
I don't make mistakes; I date them.
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Funny
I'm not crazy; I'm just mentally hilarious.
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Funny
I don't need a motivational speaker; I have a YouTube playlist of inspirational speeches that I never watch.
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Funny
I don't snore; I dream I'm a motorcycle.
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Funny
I'm not a night owl; I'm a night giraffe—elegant and tall, stumbling in the dark.
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Funny
I'm not a party pooper; I'm just an expert in finding excuses to stay home.
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Funny
I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes scattered all over my desk.
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Funny
I don't need a personal shopper; I have a closet full of clothes I never wear.
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Funny
I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—dead inside until I have coffee.
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Funny
I'm not a grammar enthusiast; I'm a grammar warrior—defending the language against misspellings and typos.
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Funny
I'm not a gossip; I just have a keen interest in people's lives.
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Funny
I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of takeout.
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Funny
I'm not old; I'm vintage.
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Funny
I'm not a psychic; I just have a sixth sense for predicting when pizza will arrive.
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Funny
I'm not a multitasker; I'm just really good at doing multiple things poorly.
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Funny
I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique sense of fashion disaster.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting songs to lift my spirits.
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Funny
I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.
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Funny
I'm not a shopaholic; I'm just a dedicated supporter of the economy.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of funny videos to uplift my spirits.
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Funny
I don't need a personal shopper; I have an unlimited supply of cute online stores.
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Funny
I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong aversion to being bored.
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Funny
I'm not late; everyone else is just early.
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Funny
I don't need a life coach; I have inspirational quotes on my screensaver.
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Funny
I don't need a hairstylist; I have a natural talent for bedhead chic.
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Funny
I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just a dream enthusiast.
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Funny
I don't need a mechanic; I have a special talent for breaking things.
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Funny
I'm not a tech guru; I just have a natural ability to break electronic devices with a single touch.
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Funny
My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other — I get to sleep, and it supports my laziness.
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Funny
I don't need a personal trainer; my dog walks me.
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Funny
I don't need a personal shopper; I have an impeccable sense of confusion.
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Funny
I'm not a snacker; I'm a connoisseur of bite-sized delights.
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Funny
I don't need a gym membership; life is my cardio.
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Funny
I don't need a personal assistant; I need a personal chef.
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Funny
I'm not a scatterbrain; I'm just embracing the art of organized chaos.
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Funny
I don't need a chauffeur; I have a natural talent for taking wrong turns.
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Funny
I don't need a personal trainer, my metabolism keeps me in shape... round is a shape, right?
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Funny