Quote



"I'm not a drama queen; I'm the whole theater production."



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I don't age; I level up.

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I don't need a therapist; retail therapy is my cure.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online sales.

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I'm not high-maintenance; I just have high standards... and a few low batteries.

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I'm not a tech wizard; I just have a special talent for breaking electronic devices.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning sloth—slowly waking up and clinging to my bed.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of ordering takeout.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a significant other to find my misplaced things.

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I'm not old; I'm vintage.

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I'm not a party animal; I'm a party dinosaur—extinct most of the time, but wild when I appear.

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I don't need a spa day; I need a spa month.

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I don't need a hairstylist; I'm having a bad hair decade.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have a knack for finding the most expensive items without trying.

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I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode.

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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.

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