Quote



"I don't need a life coach; I have inspirational quotes on my screensaver."



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I'm not old; I'm vintage.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '80s sitcoms to uplift my spirits.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—struggling to function without my daily dose of caffeine.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of scrolling through workout routines.

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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm helping the economy.

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I don't need a life coach; I have an inspirational quote app on my phone.

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I don't need a driver; I have my imagination to transport me anywhere.

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I'm not addicted to coffee. We're just in a committed relationship.

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I'm not a multitasker; I'm just really good at doing multiple things poorly.

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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just a dream enthusiast.

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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just passionate about avoiding work.

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I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the world from grammatical errors.

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I'm not a party animal; I'm a party panda—rarely seen in public, but a legend when spotted.

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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional imagination explorer.

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I don't need a time machine; my memory takes me on unplanned trips to the past.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online shopping addiction.

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I'm not a techie; I'm just fluent in speaking to electronic devices like they understand me.

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I put the 'pro' in procrastinate.

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I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of cereal and microwave meals.

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I'm not a thrill-seeker; I'm an accident-waiting-to-happen enthusiast.

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I'm not a tech expert; I'm just really good at breaking electronic devices.

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I don't need a life coach; I have a refrigerator magnet with inspirational quotes.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning ninja—silent, moody, and ready to disappear.

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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.

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I don't need a therapist; retail therapy is my cure.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—dead inside until I have coffee.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.

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I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

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I don't need a hairstylist; I have a natural talent for bedhead chic.

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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimist with a realistic perspective.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my smartphone.

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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.

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I don't need a personal chef; I just need someone to follow me around with snacks.

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I'm not indecisive; I just prefer to explore all the options.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my dog walks me.

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I'm not a night owl; I'm a nocturnal unicorn—magical but sleep-deprived.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game.

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I don't need a life coach; I have inspirational quotes on my screensaver.

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I'm not a know-it-all; I just know a lot of useless information.

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