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"I don't need a therapist; I have a Netflix subscription."
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Related Quotes about Funny
I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just extremely passionate about taking frequent breaks.
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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just a dream enthusiast.
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just well-informed about the vast array of diseases and symptoms.
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I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of finding excuses not to exercise.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my phone's voice assistant that never understands me.
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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm helping the economy.
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I don't need a hairstylist; I have mastered the art of the messy bun.
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I'm not a perfectionist; I'm a perfectionist in progress—learning to embrace imperfections.
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.
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I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama empress—ruling my own chaos.
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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional imagination explorer.
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I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just an efficient last-minute worker.
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I'm not a snacker; I'm a professional taster of snacks.
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I don't need a mechanic; I have a special talent for breaking things.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of humorous books to lift my spirits.
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I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes on my fridge magnets.
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I'm not short; I'm fun-sized.
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I don't need a driver; I have a great sense of direction—it's just usually the wrong one.
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I'm not a tech wizard; I just have a special talent for breaking electronic devices.
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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwaving.
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I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of cereal and microwave meals.
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I don't make mistakes; I date them.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have an impressive ability to forget important things.
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I don't need an encyclopedia; I have Google.
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I'm not a grammar nerd; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the language from typos and misspellings.
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I don't need a personal trainer; my dog walks me.
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I'm not a know-it-all; I just know a lot of useless information.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning mess.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an unlimited supply of cute online stores.
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I'm not a picky eater; I just have a discriminating palate.
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I don't need a life coach; I have an inspirational quote app on my phone.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting songs.
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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have my alarm clock.
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I don't need a reality show; my life is already a sitcom.
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I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes plastered all over my walls.
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I'm not a troublemaker; I'm just misunderstood... and frequently caught.
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I don't age; I level up.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I'm just embracing the art of organized chaos.
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I don't need a personal trainer; my cat provides all the exercise I need.
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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have a mind that likes to wander in various directions.
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I'm not a psychic; I just have a strong intuition for predicting my own mistakes.
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I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama scientist—experimenting with emotions.
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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have a YouTube playlist of inspirational speeches that I never watch.
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I always carry a map because I get lost even when I'm walking in my own neighborhood.
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I'm not a multitasker; I'm just really good at doing multiple things poorly.
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I don't need a chef; I have a talent for turning simple recipes into culinary disasters.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting music to boost my mood.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes scattered all over my desk.
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