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"I don't need a therapist; I have a Netflix subscription."
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Related Quotes about Funny
I don't need a personal shopper; I have a closet full of clothes I never wear.
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I don't need a personal trainer, my metabolism keeps me in shape... round is a shape, right?
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I'm not a grammar Nazi; I'm a punctuation vigilante.
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I'm not lazy; I'm just on power-saving mode.
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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily exercise by begging for walks.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning sloth—slowly waking up and clinging to my bed.
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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimist with a realistic perspective.
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I don't need a vacation; I need a teleportation device.
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I'm not addicted to chocolate; I just have a committed relationship with it.
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I don't need a therapist; my cat listens to me without judgment.
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I'm not a procrastinator; I just like to live on the edge of deadlines.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of humorous books to lift my spirits.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I need a personal chef.
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I don't need anger management; people just need to stop irritating me.
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I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama artist—painting my life with exaggerated emotions.
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I'm not stubborn; my way is just better.
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I don't need a therapist; I have my pet to listen to my problems without judgment.
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I don't age; I level up.
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I'm not a perfectionist; I'm an aspiring perfectionist who never quite gets there.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have a mind that likes to wander in various directions.
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I'm not a worrywart; I just prefer to plan for every possible disaster.
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I don't need a time machine; my memory takes me on unplanned trips to the past.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my phone's voice assistant that never understands me.
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.
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I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something shiny.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of motivational podcasts.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of feel-good movies.
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I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of avoiding physical activity.
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Funny
I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning grumpasaurus—growling until I've had my coffee.
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Funny
I don't need a personal chef; I just need someone to follow me around with snacks.
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Funny
I don't need a motivational speaker; I have my inner cheerleader.
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I'm not a picky eater; I just have a discriminating palate.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '90s sitcoms.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes.
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Funny
I'm not a drama queen; I'm the whole theater production.
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Funny
I'm not a technology addict; I'm just in a committed relationship with my devices.
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Funny
I'm not a know-it-all; I just know a lot of useless information.
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Funny
I'm not a perfectionist; I'm a perfectionist in progress—learning to embrace imperfections.
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Funny
I'm not a party animal; I'm a party sloth—slowly enjoying every moment.
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Funny
I'm not a gossip; I just have a keen interest in people's lives.
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Funny
I'm not a hoarder; I'm a collector of memories and things that may be useful someday... maybe.
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Funny
I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwaving.
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Funny
I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong aversion to being bored.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a Netflix subscription.
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I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
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I'm not a couch potato; I'm a sitting enthusiast.
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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique style that defies trends.
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I'm not a tech guru; I just have a natural ability to break electronic devices with a single touch.
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I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of finding excuses not to exercise.
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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique sense of fashion disaster.
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Funny