Quote



"I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimist with a realistic perspective."



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I'm not fat; I'm just easier to see.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have mastered the art of impulse buying.

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I don't need a mechanic; I have a special talent for breaking things.

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I'm not a mind reader; I just have excellent guessing skills.

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I tried being normal once. It was the worst five minutes of my life.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just enjoy being productive in my own unique way—by taking frequent breaks.

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I'm not a technology addict; I'm just in a committed relationship with my devices.

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I don't need a therapist; I have my pet to listen to my problems without judgment.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting podcasts.

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I don't make mistakes; I date them.

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I'm not a klutz; I'm just an expert at rearranging the floor with my feet.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning monster.

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I'm not a control freak; I just know what's best for everyone.

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I'm not a know-it-all; I just know a lot of useless information.

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