Quote



"I'm not short; I'm fun-sized."



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I'm not a klutz; I'm just an expert at rearranging the floor with my feet.

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I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

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I'm not a perfectionist; I just have really high standards that I can never meet.

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I'm not a worrywart; I just prefer to plan for every possible disaster.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a virtual assistant that rarely understands my requests.

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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just a dream enthusiast.

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I'm not a gossip; I just have a keen interest in people's lives.

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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a special talent for getting lost in familiar places.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily steps chasing after him.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwave gourmet.

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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have a mind that likes to wander... and forget to come back.

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I'm not clumsy; I'm just dancing to the beat of my own drumstick.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwaving.

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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique sense of fashion disaster.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny videos to brighten my day.

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I'm not a hoarder; I'm a collector of memories and things that may be useful someday... maybe.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have YouTube workout videos that I never actually do.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a WhatsApp group chat for venting purposes.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny YouTube videos to cheer me up.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just a medical enthusiast.

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I'm not a party animal; I'm a party dinosaur—extinct most of the time, but wild when I appear.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes scattered all over my desk.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online window shopping.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of scrolling through workout routines.

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I don't need a life coach; I have a collection of motivational memes on my phone.

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I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

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I'm not a troublemaker; I'm just misunderstood... and frequently caught.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my smartphone.

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I don't need a life coach; I have an inspirational quote app on my phone.

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I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes on my fridge magnets.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game.

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I'm not a psychic; I just have a strong intuition for predicting my own mistakes.

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I don't need a therapist; retail therapy is my cure.

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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimist with a realistic perspective.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of motivational podcasts.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online sales.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting podcasts.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning monster.

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I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the world from grammatical errors.

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I don't need a life coach; I have inspirational quotes on my screensaver.

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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.

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I'm not a perfectionist; I'm an aspiring perfectionist who never quite gets there.

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Funny