Quote



"I don't snore; I dream I'm a motorcycle."



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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimist with a realistic perspective.

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I don't need a therapist; I have my pet to listen to my problems without judgment.

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I'm not old; I'm vintage.

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I'm not high-maintenance; I just have high standards... and a few low batteries.

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I don't need a life coach; I have an unlimited supply of self-help books.

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I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

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I don't need an alarm clock; my kids jump on me to wake me up.

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I'm not a night owl; I'm a nocturnal unicorn—magical but sleep-deprived.

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I don't need a chef; I have a talent for turning simple recipes into culinary disasters.

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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique style that defies trends.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—struggling to function without my daily dose of caffeine.

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