Quote



"I don't snore; I dream I'm a chainsaw."



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I tried being normal once. It was the worst five minutes of my life.

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I'm not a grammar Nazi; I'm a punctuation vigilante.

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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have my alarm clock.

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I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just on a never-ending vacation from responsibilities.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my dog walks me.

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I'm not a control freak; I just know what's best for everyone.

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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional escapist.

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I'm not a multitasker; I'm just really good at doing multiple things poorly.

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I'm not lazy; I'm just on power-saving mode.

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I'm not a chef; I'm just really good at burning things.

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I'm not a tech guru; I just have a natural ability to break electronic devices with a single touch.

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I'm not a tech expert; I'm just really good at breaking electronic devices.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting music to boost my mood.

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I don't need a driver; I have my imagination to transport me anywhere.

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I'm not a mind reader; I just pretend to know what people are thinking.

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I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting songs.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have a knack for finding the most expensive items without trying.

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I'm not a night owl; I'm a nocturnal unicorn—magical but sleep-deprived.

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I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have a YouTube playlist of inspirational speeches that I never watch.

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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have a mind that likes to wander... and forget to come back.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have a subscription to a gym I rarely visit.

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I don't need a life coach; I have a motivational poster in my bathroom.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning sloth—slowly waking up and clinging to my bed.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning grumpasaurus—growling until I've had my coffee.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game.

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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a special talent for getting lost in familiar places.

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I'm not a technology addict; I'm just in a committed relationship with my devices.

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