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"I'm not high-maintenance; I just have high standards... and a few low batteries."
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Related Quotes about Funny
I don't need a fitness tracker; my pet keeps me active with constant demands for attention.
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I'm not a worrywart; I'm a professional overthinker.
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I'm not a snacker; I'm a connoisseur of bite-sized delights.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a special talent for getting lost in familiar places.
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I don't make mistakes; I date them.
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I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting songs to lift my spirits.
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I don't need a personal trainer; my dog walks me.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes scattered all over my desk.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '80s sitcoms to uplift my spirits.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a sense of direction that never fails to mislead me.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I need a personal chef.
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I don't need a therapist; retail therapy is my cure.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of motivational podcasts.
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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have a YouTube playlist of inspirational speeches that I never watch.
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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional escapist.
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I don't need a hairstylist; I have a natural talent for bedhead glamour.
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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimist with a realistic perspective.
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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong work-is-my-only-hobby game.
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I'm not addicted to chocolate; I just have a committed relationship with it.
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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm just a dedicated supporter of the economy.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting music to boost my mood.
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I don't need a life coach; I have a refrigerator magnet with inspirational quotes.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes and a bad memory.
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I'm not a grammar Nazi; I'm a punctuation vigilante.
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I'm not a chatterbox; I just have verbal diarrhea.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my smartphone.
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I always carry a map because I get lost even when I'm walking in my own neighborhood.
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I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama scientist—experimenting with emotions.
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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get enough exercise by pulling me on walks.
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I'm not a party pooper; I'm just an expert in finding excuses to stay home.
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I don't need a therapist; I have friends who give terrible advice.
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I don't need a life coach; I have inspirational quotes on my screensaver.
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I can resist everything except temptation... and pizza.
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I'm not a quitter; I'm just on a temporary hiatus from trying.
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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an undercover optimist with low expectations.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '90s sitcoms.
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I don't snore; I dream I'm a chainsaw.
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I don't need a personal chef; I have a delivery app for all my culinary needs.
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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily steps chasing after him.
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I don't need a hairstylist; I'm having a bad hair decade.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning alien—struggling to adapt to Earth's time zone.
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I'm not a snob; I just have refined taste buds.
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I'm not a night owl; I'm a nocturnal unicorn—magical but sleep-deprived.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny YouTube videos to cheer me up.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a calendar app to remind me of all the things I forget.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have mastered the art of impulse buying.
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I'm not indecisive; I just prefer to explore all the options.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online window shopping.
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I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes on my fridge magnets.
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Funny