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"I'm not clumsy; gravity just likes me a little too much."
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Related Quotes about Funny
I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional escapist.
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I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something shiny.
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I don't need a chef; I have a microwave and a cookbook.
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I always carry a map because I get lost even when I'm walking in my own neighborhood.
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I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama empress—ruling my own chaos.
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I'm not a picky eater; I just have a discriminating palate.
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I'm not clumsy; I'm just dancing to the beat of my own drumstick.
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I'm not a tech guru; I just have a natural ability to break electronic devices with a single touch.
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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just passionate about avoiding work.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting podcasts.
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I'm not a troublemaker; I'm just creatively mischievous.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '80s sitcoms to uplift my spirits.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a dog.
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I'm not late; everyone else is just early.
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I'm not stubborn; my way is just better.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning monster.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny YouTube videos to cheer me up.
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I don't need an alarm clock; my kids jump on me to wake me up.
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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm helping the economy.
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I don't need a life coach; I have a refrigerator magnet with inspirational quotes.
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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.
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I don't need a personal trainer; I have a subscription to a gym I rarely visit.
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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm just a dedicated supporter of the economy.
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.
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I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of cereal and microwave meals.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a Netflix subscription.
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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have a YouTube playlist of inspirational speeches that I never watch.
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I don't make mistakes; I date them.
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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.
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I don't need a prince charming; I need a man who can open pickle jars.
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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily steps chasing after him.
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I'm not a klutz; I'm just an expert at rearranging the floor with my feet.
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My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other — I get to sleep, and it supports my laziness.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have a mind that likes to wander... and forget to come back.
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I don't need a hairstylist; I have a natural talent for bedhead chic.
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I'm not forgetful; I'm just living in the future.
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I don't need a mechanic; I have a special talent for breaking things.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a habit of getting lost even with GPS.
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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of takeout.
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I'm not a chatterbox; I just have verbal diarrhea.
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just an avid reader of medical articles.
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Funny
I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes.
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I don't need a personal trainer, my metabolism keeps me in shape... round is a shape, right?
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Funny
I don't need a life coach; I have inspirational quotes on my screensaver.
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I'm not a psychic; I just have a knack for predicting when the pizza delivery will arrive.
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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a visionary with a distracted mind.
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I'm not clumsy; it's just the floor hates me.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have mastered the art of impulse buying.
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I'm not a picky eater; I'm just a food critic in training.
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I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes plastered all over my walls.
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Funny