Quote



"I'm not clumsy; gravity just likes me a little too much."



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I don't make mistakes; I date them.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a virtual assistant that rarely understands my requests.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—walking through life in a caffeine-induced haze.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning grumpasaurus—growling until I've had my coffee.

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I can resist everything except temptation... and pizza.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—struggling to function without my daily dose of caffeine.

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I don't need an encyclopedia; I have Google.

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I'm not lazy; I'm just on power-saving mode.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get enough exercise by pulling me on walks.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a significant other to find my misplaced things.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have a delivery app for all my culinary needs.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting songs to lift my spirits.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my pet keeps me active with constant demands for attention.

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I don't need a personal trainer, my metabolism keeps me in shape... round is a shape, right?

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Funny