Quote



"I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just an efficient last-minute worker."



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I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, my phone, and my temper.

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I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.

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I always carry a map because I get lost even when I'm walking in my own neighborhood.

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I don't make mistakes; I date them.

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I'm not a gossip; I just have a keen interest in people's lives.

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I'm not clumsy; gravity just likes me a little too much.

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I don't need a gym membership; life is my cardio.

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I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

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