Quote



"I'm not a chef; I'm just really good at burning things."



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I don't need a life coach; I have a refrigerator magnet with inspirational quotes.

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I'm not a night owl; I'm a night adventurer—exploring the depths of the internet and the fridge.

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I don't snore; I dream I'm a motorcycle.

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I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online window shopping.

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I don't need a personal trainer, my metabolism keeps me in shape... round is a shape, right?

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I don't need a hairstylist; I have mastered the art of the messy bun.

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I don't need a therapist; I have friends who give terrible advice.

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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—struggling to function without my daily dose of caffeine.

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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just extremely passionate about taking frequent breaks.

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I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.

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I don't need a genie; I have Amazon Prime.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a dog.

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I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama empress—ruling my own chaos.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny YouTube videos to cheer me up.

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