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"I don't need a hairstylist; I'm having a bad hair decade."



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I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, my phone, and my temper.

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I'm not a psychic; I just have a sixth sense for predicting when pizza will arrive.

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I'm not stubborn; my way is just better.

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I don't need a prince charming; I need a man who can open pickle jars.

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I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

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