Quote



"I don't need a life coach; I have a collection of self-help books gathering dust on my shelf."



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I'm not fat; I'm just easier to see.

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I don't need a therapist; I have friends who give terrible advice.

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I put the 'pro' in procrastinate.

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I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just embracing the fine art of last-minute creativity.

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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an optimistic realist—hoping for the best but prepared for the worst.

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I don't need a therapist; I have my pet to listen to my problems without judgment.

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I don't make mistakes; I date them.

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I don't need a prince charming; I need a man who can open pickle jars.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have mastered the art of impulse buying.

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I'm not a grammar enthusiast; I'm a grammar warrior—defending the language against misspellings and typos.

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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of takeout.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes.

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I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of eating out.

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I'm not a mind reader; I just pretend to know what people are thinking.

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I don't need a vacation; I need a teleportation device.

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I'm not a perfectionist; I just have really high standards that I can never meet.

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I'm not a techie; I'm just fluent in speaking to electronic devices like they understand me.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting podcasts.

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