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"I don't need a therapist; I have a dog."
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Related Quotes about Funny
I'm not a snacker; I'm a connoisseur of bite-sized delights.
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I'm not a klutz; I'm just an expert at rearranging the floor with my feet.
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I'm not a hoarder; I'm a collector of memories and things that may be useful someday... maybe.
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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm just a collector of receipts.
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I'm not a procrastinator; I just like to live on the edge of deadlines.
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I don't need a hairstylist; I have mastered the art of the messy bun.
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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.
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I don't need a prince charming; I need a man who can open pickle jars.
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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong aversion to being bored.
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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an undercover optimist with low expectations.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning grumpasaurus—growling until I've had my coffee.
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I'm not a worrywart; I'm a professional over-analyzer.
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I'm not old; I'm vintage.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a dog.
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I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the world from grammatical errors.
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I don't need a hairstylist; I have a natural talent for bedhead chic.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online shopping addiction.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny YouTube videos to cheer me up.
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I don't age; I level up.
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.
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I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online window shopping.
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I don't need a life coach; I have my own internal monologue.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a special talent for getting lost in familiar places.
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I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, my phone, and my temper.
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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of takeout.
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I don't need a spa day; I need a spa month.
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I don't need a personal chef; I have a delivery app for all my culinary needs.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an impeccable sense of confusion.
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I'm not a tech expert; I'm just really good at breaking electronic devices.
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I'm not clumsy; it's just the floor hates me.
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I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just on a never-ending vacation from responsibilities.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my phone's voice assistant that never understands me.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a natural talent for taking wrong turns.
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I don't need a personal trainer; my fridge is my motivator.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my smartphone.
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I don't need a therapist; I have my own comedy show in my head.
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I'm not a thrill-seeker; I'm an accident-waiting-to-happen enthusiast.
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I don't make mistakes; I date them.
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I'm not addicted to coffee. We're just in a committed relationship.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have a mind that likes to wander... and forget to come back.
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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of ordering takeout.
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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional escapist.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a caffeine-dependent life form.
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I'm not a party animal; I'm a party dinosaur—extinct most of the time, but wild when I appear.
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I'm not a perfectionist; I'm an aspiring perfectionist who never quite gets there.
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I don't need anger management; people just need to stop irritating me.
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I'm not a multitasker; I'm just really good at doing multiple things poorly.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning mess.
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I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily steps chasing after him.
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