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"I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwaving."
Unknown
Related Quotes about Funny
I'm not a technology addict; I'm just in a committed relationship with my devices.
Unknown
Funny
I can resist everything except temptation... and pizza.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a techie; I'm just fluent in speaking to electronic devices like they understand me.
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Funny
I'm not a know-it-all; I just know a lot of useless information.
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Funny
I don't need a motivational speaker; I have my inner cheerleader.
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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just extremely passionate about taking frequent breaks.
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Funny
I'm not a workaholic; I'm just passionate about avoiding work.
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Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have my own comedy show in my head.
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Funny
I don't need a driver; I have a great sense of direction—it's just usually the wrong one.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a pessimist; I'm an undercover optimist with low expectations.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a thrill-seeker; I'm an accident-waiting-to-happen enthusiast.
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Funny
I don't need a personal trainer; I have a subscription to a gym I rarely visit.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a personal trainer; I have a membership at a gym I never go to.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a hairstylist; I have mastered the art of the messy bun.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a personal trainer; I have YouTube workout videos that I never actually do.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a procrastinator; I just like to live on the edge of deadlines.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny YouTube videos to cheer me up.
Unknown
Funny
I don't age; I level up.
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Funny
I don't need a hairstylist; I have a natural talent for bedhead glamour.
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Funny
I'm not a perfectionist; I just have really high standards that I can never meet.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional escapist.
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Funny
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a housekeeper; I have a cleaning-when-guests-are-coming strategy.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a therapist; retail therapy is my cure.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—walking through life in a caffeine-induced haze.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a personal trainer, my metabolism keeps me in shape... round is a shape, right?
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just well-informed about the vast array of diseases and symptoms.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a gym; my bank account keeps me fit.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a driver's license; I have a great sense of direction—just not on roads.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a personal trainer; my cat provides all the exercise I need.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of ordering takeout.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a perfectionist; I'm an aspiring perfectionist who never quite gets there.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the world from grammatical errors.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have friends who give terrible advice.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm just a vigilant defender of the English language.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online cart full of things I'll never buy.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a personal assistant; I have my smartphone.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not forgetful; I'm just living in the future.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny videos to brighten my day.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a night owl; I'm a night giraffe—elegant and tall, stumbling in the dark.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a chef; I have mastered the art of cereal and microwave meals.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a picky eater; I just have a discriminating palate.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama artist—painting my life with exaggerated emotions.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of avoiding physical activity.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a drama queen; I'm the whole theater production.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a genie; I have Amazon Prime.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a reality show; my life is already a sitcom.
Unknown
Funny
I'm not a party animal; I'm a party panda—rarely seen in public, but a legend when spotted.
Unknown
Funny
I put the 'pro' in procrastinate.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of funny videos to uplift my spirits.
Unknown
Funny