Quote



"I don't need a personal assistant; I have a calendar app to remind me of all the things I forget."



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I'm not a psychic; I just have a sixth sense for predicting when pizza will arrive.

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I'm not a couch potato; I'm a sitting enthusiast.

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I put the 'pro' in procrastinate.

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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have a mind that likes to wander in various directions.

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I'm not a math whiz; I just have a natural ability to calculate how much time I waste.

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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a habit of getting lost even with GPS.

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I'm not old; I'm vintage.

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I'm not high-maintenance; I just have high standards... and a few low batteries.

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I don't need a life coach; I have inspirational quotes on my screensaver.

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I'm not a drama queen; I'm the whole theater production.

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I don't need a life coach; I have my own internal monologue.

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I'm not clumsy; gravity just likes me a little too much.

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I don't need a spa day; I need a spa month.

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I'm not a worrywart; I just prefer to plan for every possible disaster.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an impeccable sense of confusion.

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I'm not a night owl; I'm a nocturnal unicorn—magical but sleep-deprived.

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I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama empress—ruling my own chaos.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have my phone's voice assistant that never understands me.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong aversion to being bored.

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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just extremely passionate about taking frequent breaks.

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I'm not a thrill-seeker; I'm an accident-waiting-to-happen enthusiast.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning ninja—silent, moody, and ready to disappear.

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I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something shiny.

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I'm not a mind reader; I just pretend to know what people are thinking.

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I'm not a night owl; I'm a night giraffe—elegant and tall, stumbling in the dark.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a vast collection of memes to uplift my spirits.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—struggling to function without my daily dose of caffeine.

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I don't need a life coach; I have a refrigerator magnet with inspirational quotes.

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I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm just a vigilant defender of the English language.

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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.

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I'm not short; I'm fun-sized.

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I'm not a procrastinator; I just like to live on the edge of deadlines.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a caffeine-dependent life form.

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Funny