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"I'm not short; I'm fun-sized."
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Related Quotes about Funny
I don't need a personal assistant; I need a personal chef.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a habit of getting lost even with GPS.
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I'm not a complainer; I'm just highly skilled in identifying life's absurdities.
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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an undercover optimist with low expectations.
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I'm not a psychic; I just have a strong intuition for predicting my own mistakes.
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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional escapist.
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I don't need a prince charming; I need a man who can open pickle jars.
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I'm not a snob; I just have refined taste buds.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I just have a mind that likes to wander... and forget to come back.
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I don't snore; I dream I'm a motorcycle.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—dead inside until I have coffee.
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I don't need a chauffeur; I have a sense of direction that never fails to mislead me.
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I don't need a life coach; I have an unlimited supply of self-help books.
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I'm not a couch potato; I'm a sitting enthusiast.
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I'm not a troublemaker; I'm just creatively mischievous.
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I'm not a klutz; I'm just an expert at rearranging the floor with my feet.
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I don't need a reality show; my life is already a sitcom.
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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.
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I'm not short; I'm fun-sized.
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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a master of creating my alternate reality.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a dog.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of uplifting podcasts to boost my mood.
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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just passionate about avoiding work.
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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique style that defies trends.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning alien—struggling to adapt to Earth's time zone.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of feel-good movies.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have a closet full of clothes I never wear.
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I'm not a night owl; I'm a night adventurer—exploring the depths of the internet and the fridge.
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I don't need a therapist; retail therapy is my cure.
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I'm not an oversleeper; I'm just an underscheduler.
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I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes on my fridge magnets.
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I don't need a genie; I have Amazon Prime.
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I'm not a technology addict; I'm just in a committed relationship with my devices.
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I don't need a personal chef; I have a delivery app for all my culinary needs.
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I'm not a quitter; I'm just on a temporary hiatus from trying.
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I don't make mistakes; I date them.
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I don't need a chef; I have a talent for turning simple recipes into culinary disasters.
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I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
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I don't need a hairstylist; I have a natural talent for bedhead glamour.
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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique sense of fashion disaster.
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I don't need a life coach; I have inspirational quotes on my screensaver.
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I'm not a psychic; I just have a knack for predicting when the pizza delivery will arrive.
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I don't need a housekeeper; I have a cleaning-when-guests-are-coming strategy.
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I don't need a fitness tracker; my pet ensures I get my daily exercise by constantly demanding attention.
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I don't need anger management; people just need to stop irritating me.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online window shopping.
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I tried being normal once. It was the worst five minutes of my life.
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I'm not stubborn; my way is just better.
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I don't need a personal trainer; my cat provides all the exercise I need.
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I don't need a personal trainer; I have a talent for finding excuses not to exercise.
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Funny