Quote



"I don't need a fitness tracker; my dog ensures I get my daily exercise by begging for walks."



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I'm not fat; I'm just easier to see.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I need a personal chef.

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I don't need a time machine; my memory takes me on unplanned trips to the past.

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I'm not indecisive; I just prefer to explore all the options.

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I'm not a mind reader; I just pretend to know what people are thinking.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '90s sitcoms.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have a talent for finding excuses not to exercise.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my pet ensures I get my daily exercise by constantly demanding attention.

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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just well-informed about the vast array of diseases and symptoms.

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I don't need an encyclopedia; I have Google.

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I'm not addicted to coffee. We're just in a committed relationship.

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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an undercover optimist with low expectations.

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