Quote



"I always carry a map because I get lost even when I'm walking in my own neighborhood."



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I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of finding excuses not to exercise.

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I'm not a mind reader; I just pretend to know what people are thinking.

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I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm just a vigilant defender of the English language.

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I'm not a chef; I'm just really good at burning things.

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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.

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I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of '90s sitcoms.

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I'm not stubborn; my way is just better.

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I don't need a driver; I have my imagination to take me on epic road trips.

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