Quote



"I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny YouTube videos to cheer me up."



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I tried being normal once. It was the worst five minutes of my life.

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I'm not a grammar nerd; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the language from typos and misspellings.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes and a bad memory.

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I'm not a chef; I'm just really good at burning things.

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I'm not a perfectionist; I just have really high standards that I can never meet.

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I'm not a perfectionist; I'm an aspiring perfectionist who never quite gets there.

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I don't need a life coach; I have inspirational quotes on my screensaver.

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I don't need a prince charming; I need a man who can open pickle jars.

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I don't need a personal trainer; my dog walks me.

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I'm not a shopaholic; I'm just a collector of receipts.

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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have a YouTube playlist of inspirational speeches that I never watch.

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I'm not a mind reader; I just pretend to know what people are thinking.

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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning zombie—dead inside until I have coffee.

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I can resist everything except temptation... and pizza.

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I'm not a scatterbrain; I'm just embracing the art of organized chaos.

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I'm not a tech expert; I'm just really good at breaking electronic devices.

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I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong aversion to being bored.

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I'm not a math whiz; I just have a natural ability to calculate how much time I waste.

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I'm not a procrastinator; I just like to live on the edge of deadlines.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a playlist of funny videos to uplift my spirits.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a collection of funny videos to brighten my day.

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I'm not indecisive; I just prefer to explore all the options.

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I'm not a math genius; I just excel at calculating how much time I waste on unimportant things.

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I'm not a mind reader; I just have excellent guessing skills.

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I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm a grammar superhero, here to save the world from grammatical errors.

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I'm not a grammar police officer; I'm just a vigilant defender of the English language.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online sales.

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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just passionate about avoiding work.

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I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online shopping addiction.

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I'm not a control freak; I just know what's best for everyone.

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I'm not a chatterbox; I just have verbal diarrhea.

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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have my alarm clock.

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I'm not a grammar Nazi; I'm a punctuation vigilante.

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I'm not a snob; I just have refined taste buds.

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I don't need a life coach; I have a collection of self-help books gathering dust on my shelf.

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I'm not a picky eater; I'm just highly selective in my culinary adventures.

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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a master of creating my alternate reality.

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I don't need a life coach; I have motivational quotes plastered all over my walls.

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I'm not a drama queen; I'm a drama artist—painting my life with exaggerated emotions.

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I'm not clumsy; I'm just dancing to the beat of my own drumstick.

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I'm not a picky eater; I'm just a food critic in training.

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I'm not a mind reader; I just have a talent for guessing what people are thinking and being wrong.

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I'm not addicted to coffee. We're just in a committed relationship.

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