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"I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, my phone, and my temper."
Unknown
Related Quotes about Funny
I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes.
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I'm not a thrill-seeker; I'm an accident-waiting-to-happen enthusiast.
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I don't need a gym membership; life is my cardio.
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I'm not a workaholic; I'm just passionate about avoiding work.
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I'm not clumsy; gravity just likes me a little too much.
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My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other — I get to sleep, and it supports my laziness.
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I don't need a therapist; retail therapy is my cure.
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I'm not late; everyone else is just early.
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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an addiction to online sales.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a vast collection of memes to uplift my spirits.
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I'm not a daydreamer; I'm a professional imagination explorer.
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I don't need a fashion consultant; I have my own unique style... or so I'm told.
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I don't need a housekeeper; I have a cleaning-when-guests-are-coming strategy.
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I don't need a therapist; I have friends who give terrible advice.
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I'm not a multitasker; I'm just really good at doing multiple things poorly.
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I'm not a scatterbrain; I'm just embracing the art of organized chaos.
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I'm not forgetful; I'm just living in the future.
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I don't age; I level up.
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I don't need a personal chef; I have mastered the art of microwaving.
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I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just on a never-ending vacation from responsibilities.
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I'm not clumsy; it's just the floor hates me.
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I'm not a troublemaker; I'm just creatively mischievous.
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I don't need a personal assistant; I have sticky notes and a bad memory.
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I'm not a snacker; I'm a connoisseur of bite-sized delights.
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I don't need a reality show; my life is already a sitcom.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a dog.
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I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning ninja—silent, moody, and ready to disappear.
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I don't need a life coach; I have my own internal monologue.
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I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
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I'm not a pessimist; I'm an undercover optimist with low expectations.
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I'm not a psychic; I just have a sixth sense for predicting when pizza will arrive.
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I don't need a motivational speaker; I have a YouTube playlist of inspirational speeches that I never watch.
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I'm not a math genius; I just excel at calculating how much time I waste on unimportant things.
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I'm not a hypochondriac; I'm just on intimate terms with WebMD.
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I don't need a therapist; I have a WhatsApp group chat for venting purposes.
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Funny
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, my phone, and my temper.
Unknown
Funny
I don't need a driver; I have my imagination to transport me anywhere.
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Funny
I don't need a personal trainer; I have a membership at a gym I never go to.
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Funny
I'm not a workaholic; I just have a strong aversion to being bored.
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I'm not a snacker; I'm a professional taster of snacks.
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Funny
I don't need a chef; I have a microwave and a cookbook.
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I'm not a quitter; I'm just on a temporary hiatus from trying.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning sloth—slowly waking up and clinging to my bed.
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I don't need a personal chef; I have a delivery app for all my culinary needs.
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I'm not a techie; I'm just fluent in speaking to electronic devices like they understand me.
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I don't need an alarm clock; my kids jump on me to wake me up.
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I'm not a mind reader; I just have a talent for guessing what people are thinking and being wrong.
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I'm not a morning person; I'm a morning warrior—battling the snooze button with all my might.
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I don't need a life coach; I have a motivational poster in my bathroom.
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Funny