Quote



"I don't need a personal shopper; I have an online cart full of things I'll never buy."



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I'm not clumsy; it's just the floor hates me.

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I'm not a klutz; I'm just an expert at rearranging the floor with my feet.

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I don't need a hairstylist; I have a natural talent for bedhead chic.

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I'm not a multitasker; I'm just really good at doing multiple things poorly.

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I don't need a vacation; I need a new life.

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I'm not a perfectionist; I just have really high standards that I can never meet.

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I'm not a psychic; I just have a strong intuition for predicting my own mistakes.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of finding excuses not to exercise.

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I'm not a psychic; I just have a knack for predicting when the pizza delivery will arrive.

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I'm not a procrastinator; I'm just an efficient last-minute worker.

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I don't need a personal shopper; I have an impeccable sense of confusion.

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I don't need a fitness tracker; my pet keeps me active with constant demands for attention.

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I don't need a therapist; I have my pet to listen to my problems without judgment.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have Post-it notes everywhere.

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I don't need a personal trainer; I have mastered the art of scrolling through workout routines.

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I'm not a know-it-all; I just know a lot of useless information.

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I don't need a personal assistant; I have a virtual assistant that rarely understands my requests.

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I don't need a therapist; I have a Netflix subscription.

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